Getting The Father’s Blessing Before You Propose Can Be Tricky

Getting the father’s blessing is a surprisingly contentious issue. Back when I was going through the proposal process, I put out a post on Reddit asking for some advice. You see – my fiance’s biological father is deceased. Her step-father was around, as was her mom. So I turned to Reddit, this massive community, seeking opinions on whose blessing I should ask first.

Woah. I never realized I was a chauvinist until that day. Turns out, culture plays a rather large role in whether this particular section of GtB will matter at all to you. Where I was raised, in Texas, getting the father’s blessing is a fairly common practice. In fact, I think most dads would appreciate it. They might not expect it, but they appreciate it. My fiance, being from Florida, actually remarked to me early in our relationship that if I ever intended to marry her that I better get her dad’s blessing (in jest, of course).

It’s just one of those cultural things in certain areas of the world where you give a bow of respect. But some people see it as a continuation of misogynistic rituals. I think this is a misunderstanding of the motives behind the gesture, which is all it is meant to be. Those that would criticize involving the bride’s family in this process oftentimes mistakenly believe that the groom is seeking the father’s permission to marry the daughter and removing her from the equation completely. This could not be further from the truth.

Asking the father’s blessing is merely a gesture by which we can say, “I want to spend the rest of my life with your daughter. She changed my life and I could not imagine living the rest of my life without her. Before I ask her to marry me, may I have your blessing?” Knowing it’s simply a gesture unlikely to change the path of your resolve should give you confidence to pose the question.

And should you choose not to ask the father’s blessing, the downside really isn’t that deep. The worst you have to worry about is eventually explaining to him that you felt that it was a personal decision between yourself and his daughter, and you want her to be the first person to know. If he’s a reasonable person, he’ll understand. If he’s not, you can only apologize and tell him you hope to make it up to him as you and his daughter grow together and start a family

Meaning Behind the Engagement Ring: A Wearable Symbol With Personal Significance

Everyone has seen at least one engagement ring at some point in their lives. This piece of jewelry is a common accessory worn all over the world. Most people realize that it is a symbol that someone is “taken” or already committed to another. Many do not realize that engagement jewelry has evolved over a long and worldly past. The ring has taken on many different meanings throughout the years and across cultures all over the world.

The Earliest Engagement Rings

The first engagement ring is believed to have come from ancient Egypt. This circular piece would represent an unending cycle. The opening inside was believed to represent a gateway. The Romans used betrothal rings in the 13th century. These usually featured a tiny key that was believed to unlock wealth.

The Archduke Maximilian of Habsburg ordered the creation of a diamond ring that was intended to be given to the woman he loved, Mary of Burgundy. She is believed to be the first woman to ever be given this type of gift. Early engagement rings in the United States were a little different. These became popular after 1840 and were usually given to both men and women rather than just the woman.

During the 1800s, Victorians would create unique jewelry using human hair. Some pieces also featured gemstones that would spell out a word or sentiment. Although diamonds were used, other stones were also popular such as rubies, amethysts and emeralds.

The Modern Meaning Behind the Ring

Things have changed quite a bit in the last century although the sentiment has stayed much the same. The modern engagement ring is generally a symbol of devotion, love and affection. These are commonly given to the woman by the man, however, there are no set rules as to who must give to whom. Many jewelers make men’s engagement rings that can be purchased afterwards or given to a man by the woman as a proposal. The old traditions are still there but many modern men and women choose to break away from the norm.

Some cultures viewed the ring as an indication of ownership rather than pure love and admiration. Modern society has mostly done away with that notion, focusing on the devotional aspect of the accessory. Giving one to someone you love is a sign of taking the relationship to the next level. For most couples, that next level is marriage.

How to Choose a Meaningful Engagement Ring?

Visual appeal is important when selecting an engagement ring, but it should not surpass meaning. There are no specific directions or guidelines for couples when it comes to choosing a design that they feel adequately represents who they are and the direction they plan to go together. There are a number of ways to make the finished piece more significant to the individual.

Some couples work in an heirloom diamond, which may come from a beloved member of the family or close friend. That is, of course, if the couple has someone willing to donate a piece of fine jewelry to the engagement. Another option is to select patterns and elements that hold personal significance. Celtic knots are popular because they appear so tightly entwined. A different color stone, such as a ruby, may symbolize fiery passion.

If you aren’t sure where to begin, try searching for images of engagement rings. There are many all over the web that feature unique settings and designs. Find out how other couples made their bridal jewelry more meaningful. Don’t forget to determine your budget before you shop. This can make the process less stressful. The right engagement ring will offer a lifetime of meaning for the one wearing it.